Devil Bats vs Quarantine, Eyeshield 21
Saturday, 23 January 2021 15:29Fandom: Eyeshield 21
Characters: The entire Deimon Devil Bats
Rating: G
Summary: Devil Bats's first zoom meeting!
CW: set during COVID-19 quarantine
Hiruma Yoichi is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Sena blinks, closes the email app, and walks to the window. His mother burst into his room yesterday, blabbing about the damage quarantine would do to his eyesight. He nodded to appease her, while privately thinking that she was being dramatic as usual. Now, though, he begins to suspect that she might have had a point.
He spends the next fifteen minutes rediscovering the surrounding skyline. A neighbour has apparently decided to jump into the house renovation bandwagon. There’s something calming in the way she rolls the paint roller, and he watches for a while, mesmerised.
Then he stretches, yawns, and picks up his phone again.
The same words stare back at him.
Sena sighs and makes the wise decision to accept his fate.
He joins the call ten minutes before the scheduled time. Hiruma, the genius that he is, has set everyone to mute and camera-off as default, so he’s spared the horror of seeing his unprepared face on the screen.
There’s Hiruma, of course, and Monta’s early too, and there’s another square with an unfamiliar name. As if on cue, his phone buzzes.
Monta: whos dat guy
Sena: idk
Monta: maybe hes a spy
Sena: I don’t think anyone not invited can join
Monta: did u miss the whole zoombombing thing
Sena: our meeting asks for password
Sena: anyway do u really think anyone can get past Hiruma
Monta: u never know
He’s distracted by the squares popping up on his screen as everyone else trickles in. It’s kinda weird to see the Ha-ha Brothers show up separately – he low-key expects them to quarantine together, somehow.
“Guys I miss you all so much!” Kurita’s chestnut face fills up his entire camera, and Sena gets the suspicion that he’s hugging his laptop.
“Miss you too, Kuritan!” Suzuna, chipper as usual. “Everyone, turns on your camera!”
And yeah, as smiling faces fill his screen, Sena realises that he misses the team too. It’s only been a week since quarantine began, but it feels so much longer.
“Can we start the fucking meeting now?” Hiruma looks annoyed, but there’s that spark in his eyes that makes Sena thinks he’s glad to see them again too.
“Wait, Hiruma-senpai!” Monta waves his hand. “We’ve got a spy sneaking in!” he nods vigorously and jabs his finger at his screen. “Yeah, I’m talking about you, faceless guy!”
“I – I can explain!” The guy with the unfamiliar name has turned on his camera, but his lighting is so horrible Sena can barely make out his panicked face.
“Shut up, fucking monkey. Your memory’s even fucking weaker than I thought if you –”
In an ill-advised (and possibly suicidal) move, Monta cuts Hiruma off. “No! We gotta find out who sends him –”
“It’s me!” The guy yells, getting all their attention. “It’s me, Ishimaru!” He moves around until he finds a brighter spot, and now that his face is much clearer, yep, it’s Ishimaru alright.
Monta’s face turns impossibly red that Sena gets second-hand embarrassment. “Um, real sorry, senpai, I, uh, didn’t realise…”
“It’s alright, it’s alright,”Ishimaru smiles, accepting the apology.
“Serves you right, fucking monkey. Now let’s stop wasting our fucking time.”
After that excitement, the meeting goes on smoothly, at least until Hiruma announces the schedule for their daily zoom practice in the afternoon.
“Can’t.” Musashi says simply.
“Why not, fucking old man.”
“Essential worker. Besides, business’s been picking up. Now that everyone else’s staying home and out of our way, we can work more hours.”
“M- Make time!” Komusubi pipes up for the first time.
“I’m an essential worker too. Although our business is picking up as well, but I will make time for group practice, as you should,” Kurita translates.
“Che, whatever, old man. Just fucking make sure you set some fucking time aside for practicing on your own.”
Yukimitsu mumbles something. “Speak the fuck up, fucking baldy.”
“I can’t either,” he hisses, eyes darting every few seconds towards the door.
“Why the fuck not?!”
“My mother –”
Hiruma gives the eye-roll of the century. “Then fucking make something up, fucking baldy. Say it’s for fucking PE or something, and if you fucking fail the class you’ll have to repeat the fucking year, whatever.”
Yukimitsu looks unconvinced, but unlike Monta, he knows better than to argue.
“Alright, everyone. We’re allowed to leave the house within a certain distance for exercise, so for exercises that you can’t do in your house, please use that opportunity to do them. Make sure you wear masks and keep six feet apart from everyone you pass by.” Mamori, soothing as always, a welcome change after the previous quarrels.
Kuroki raises a hand. “So, like, are we gonna go out at the same time so we can secretly practice together or what?”
There’s the identical sound of headsets hitting laptops as everyone throws theirs down to protect their poor eardrums from Hiruma’s deafening gunshots.
“Listen, fucking fishlips, and you fucking idiots too. The High School Football Association’s rule is that anyone caught breaking quarantine will be benched for the rest of the season. So if you still want to play …” he cocks his gun meaningfully.
“I got it, I got it, sorry!”
“Fine. I’ll send the personalised practice schedule to your fucking emails, so make sure you fucking check them every day. And turn your fucking camera on for the zoom group practice. Understood?”
“Yes!”
Hiruma grins, wide and wicked. Sena finds himself grinning in return, as does everyone.
“WE WILL KILL QUARANTINE! YA-HA!”